Today was the first Sunday back in Savannah as a sophomore. While at church, we sang my favorite song, So Will I. And in the worship, my mind went back to the Sunday in my hometown before I left for my first year at SCAD where we were singing the same song.
The song functioned like bookends to my past year. Singing it back home signified the start of this whirlwind of a year, and singing it today signified a new revolution, a new start of year two.
And in that moment, I realized how vastly different I have become. I am not the type of person to accept change easily, so at first, this realization churned out anxiety. But change is good, necessary actually. Change forces us to alter perspectives on the world, on ourselves, and on our relationships.
Last year I headed into my freshman year with way too much confidence and a little too much structure. I assumed I was better than my classmates. I was ruled by my planner. I relied on routine. I was narrow minded in my beliefs. I had no clue what was going to bend, grow, test, and break me.
Throughout the past year, I have found a community to academically thrive. I am excited to be working on the projects that I am. I have found best friends that I would’ve never approached a year ago. I have fallen in love with my city.
But this past year has also been the hardest in my life. I’ve had to make new friends from scratch. I had to decide what kind of life I will live. What kind of friend I want to be. I fell for someone for the first time ever, and I had to pick myself back up again.
Most importantly, standing there in church, I realized just how naive I was in my relationship with Jesus last year. I didn’t know just how much I truly **need** and rely on him every single day. I wouldn’t have recovered from these hard things in life without Him.
I am so very thankful to have a force stronger than I will ever be to guide me through my sophomore year. May the bumps and cracks from last year aid my discovery of myself this year. This time I know it won’t be easy. There will be very low lows and very high highs. I have Jesus beside me the whole ride.
God of salvation
You chased down my heart
Through all of my failure and pride
On a hill You created
The light of the world
Abandoned in darkness to die
And as You speak
A hundred billion failures disappear
Where You lost Your life so I could find it here
If You left the grave behind You so will I
I can see Your heart in everything You've done
Every part designed in a work of art called love