I've been thinking a lot about idols, the inconspicuous ones.
An idol is the thing or idea that you grip the tightest.
Its when your fist is holding onto something so tightly, that it's hard to pry your fingers off to fully let go and surrender it to God. I grip onto budding relationships too hard, scared that if I turn their future over to God they might leave me. Scared that His plan is different than the perfect future I've already conjured in my head. Scared He will take away this good thing. But God demands all of us, every part of us. So me gripping onto parts of my life so selfishly and tightly is directly rejecting what I claim I believe.
I am compromising what I know to be true in order to rationalize keeping these seemingly most sacred parts of my life “safe" in my authority. I know He is a loving God and causes all things to ultimately work for my good (Romans 8:28), but I comprise and discredit these promises to feel in control. But why? Why do I not feel 100% comfortable turning over every part of my life to the one who literally created me??
I am so headstrong determined to create my own future that I project my human insecurities onto God. I morph him into a man I cannot trust. And if there are feelings of distrust, of course I would never give away all of myself. The bigger question is: why do I do this—project human flaws onto a flawless entity just to make sense of a personal logical fallacy?
Humans need to relate. We find perfect order in relatable things. Take friendships for example; our best friends are those we relate most with. But we live in a sinful world, so the issue arises when we are presented with a sinless thing. It doesn’t initially fit into our psyche. We don’t know how to handle a truly perfect being like Jesus Christ. We don’t understand the truly abounding love he has for us because nobody on Earth is capable of loving like that—we have nothing to relate it to.
And when we try and process who He is, we tend to give him faults that we are familiar with. Have trust issues in your past? So then your image of God ends up being distrustful. Now that our image of the Lord is muddied with a projection of sin, we feel a false sense of comfort towards understanding Him because it relates to our sinful world. Its all a subconscious event to keep order. So the saying goes, “God created man in his own image. And man, being a gentleman, returned the favor.”
We have to stop—and understand the situation. God is elusive to human reason. A huge part of believing in the Lord is understanding that we will never fully get it. God is not of this world, so why do we feel the need to bring him down to this level? Frustrating as it is, we have to let go of the desire to completely figure God out. He is God, and we are not. If we knew everything about Him, then there would be no need for Him. All we can do is keep learning and correcting ourselves. To learn and trust God requires a huge chunk of faith in His presence. Faith: the complete confidence in something even if you can’t understand everything.
For God says "Just as the heavens are higher than the earth, my thoughts and my ways are higher than yours" (Isaiah 55:9)
So here's to being in a constant state of self reevaluation, let us never be comfortable with the image we morph God into being.